In the last couple of years I have been trying to kid myself. I have been so lucky to have 6 children and stay fairly thin. Now that I am 35 it is not so easy. I can lose the weight but it just comes right back if I smell a candy bar. I have been ignoring it and pretending like I am still that little skinny girl that I once was. This morning I looked in the mirror and decided it was time to face the facts. I am not the girl I used to be.
Would I be considered running from my problems if I just chose to stay away from things or people that did not suit my needs? Should we face these people continuously? As long as I can remember I have been running on pure emotion and I feel its making me old. So I have started a quest to find a different way to live. I have to balance between Logic and Emotion. I think I have caused myself more stress on this search. The harder I try the more I feel stress and then just add more stress because I think I am failing. I am trying too hard! It can get so frustrating that there are actually times when I know that I have to be around certain people and in my mind I want to scream NO NO NO because I have a hard time getting along with them. So how do I deal with people that I know I have to be around? I know they are not good for me at all. I have tried understanding and forgiveness. I don’t know what else to do anymore. It scares me. I do not want to fail.
